What Not To Wear
by Sayonara
Summary: Yuki hates Kyo's choice in clothing. YukiKyo.


"Kyaaaa!" a voice screamed.

Kyo choked on the milk he had been sneaking from the carton as he felt something solid slam into him from behind. He craned his neck and squinted to see what had attached itself to his back.

Tohru, eyes squeezed tightly shut, clung to the back of Kyo's black t-shirt. Her hands were tightly fisted into the material, causing it to ride up even further over Kyo's abdomen.

Kyo wiped the back of his mouth with one hand and twisted unnaturally to face the frightened girl. Tohru still had her eyes closed, unable to face whatever was scaring her.

"Uh, Tohru? Is something the matter?" Kyo asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tohru opened her eyes and blinked up at him. "T-there's a spider near the window," she said feebly.

Kyo cracked his neck, stiff from twisting it to face her. He turned toward the window. "Where is it?" he asked, gruffly.

Tohru, not letting go of his shirt, turned with him and then shrank further behind Kyo's back. "Over there," she squeaked, pointing over his shoulder.

Kyo snorted. Spiders were nothing to be afraid of. He stepped toward the window before realizing that Tohru was _still_ attached to his back. "Are you coming with me?" Kyo asked, surprised.

"Ehhhh!" Tohru exclaimed. She immediately let go of Kyo's t-shirt and jumped back. "Please be careful, Kyo-kun!" she said, worriedly.

Kyo only rolled his eyes in response. Trust the idiot to be scared senseless not only for herself, but for others as well.

Kyo eyed the spider crawling up the wall near the window. It wasn't _that_ big. He then grabbed one of Shigure's old newspapers lying around – better material than _other_ literary items the perverted writer had lying around – and rolled it up to swat the spider. He was just about to deliver the killing blow when Tohru squeaked again.

"Kyo-kun! D-don't kill it!" Tohru said, eyes filling with tears.

"What!" Kyo said, exasperated. "What do you want me to do with it, then?"

Tohru seemed to shrink a little. "Please, Kyo-kun, take it outside. I know that if I were a spider, I wouldn't want someone to kill me just because I wandered in the wrong direction," she said sheepishly.

Kyo felt the distinct need to bang his head against the wall, spider or no spider. "What kind of idiot – " he began, and then stopped short as he saw her ridiculously sad expression. "Never mind," he snapped. "I'll take it outside."

"Thank you, Kyo-kun," Tohru said, eyes shining. "I'll go and make breakfast now." Fears forgotten, Tohru scrambled into the kitchen to start the first meal of the day.

Muttering under his breath about idiots who were so tenderhearted that they tried to get inside the head of a damn bug, he cupped the spider in his hands and proceeded to walk with it outside. Gently, he placed the spider outside the front steps, and watched for a few seconds before it scurried away. Kyo scowled as he watched it leave. That was one Sohma occupant – even if temporary – that got away.

Sighing inwardly, Kyo stepped back into the house and walked toward the refrigerator. He hadn't finished his milk, after all.

The carton had barely touched his lips when he again felt something warm and solid against his back. Something heavy was draped across his right shoulder.

"What now?" Kyo growled, out of patience. If Tohru wanted to politely evict every single bug in the house, she'd have to find someone else to do it. Kyo turned his head sharply toward the right and almost got a mouthful of silvery gray hair.

"Nnnn…" Yuki mumbled, half asleep on Kyo's shoulder.

"GAH!" Kyo blanched and stumbled, pushing Yuki's chest away with one hand. "DAMN RAT!" he yelled.

Yuki swayed on his feet, his temporary resting place suddenly gone. He blinked his violet eyes slowly, trying to get his bearings.

"Idiot!" Kyo yelled. He slammed the milk carton on the counter and closed the refrigerator door with his foot before turning back to yell at the other boy. "Watch where you're going!"

Yuki finally focused on the orange-haired boy and opened his mouth to reply in kind. The words never left his mouth, though, as the princely figure (even when half asleep), noticed the other boy's attire. Yuki narrowed his eyes. Kyo was wearing that black t-shirt again.

Still glaring, Kyo stepped closer toward his rival. "Damn Rat, don't you have anything to say? Or is your brain even less functional than usual?" he taunted. If Kyo didn't get his milk, he became cranky. When Kyo got cranky, he wanted to fight someone. Preferably Yuki.

Yuki frowned slightly. "Stupid Cat," he said. "Don't wear that shirt again."

Whatever Kyo had been expecting – a punch, a kick, even a verbal slap – it wasn't this. "What?" he asked, confusion written across his face. Kyo narrowed his crimson eyes. "Are you trying to trick me?" he asked suspiciously.

Yuki finally roused himself enough to start heading toward the bathroom to prepare for school. "I said, Stupid Cat, don't wear that shirt again," Yuki remarked over his shoulder. "It makes you look even stupider than you normally do."

Kyo was left spluttering curses and insults at Yuki's back.

* * *

Tohru kept Shigure's house running like clockwork. Meals were cooked, floors were swept, and laundry was washed. All of these things were what Tohru considered her duty, small prices to pay (really, she enjoyed them) for gaining the privilege of living with the Sohmas. 

And so it happened that exactly nine days later, Kyo was wearing that same shirt. By then, he had forgotten all about Yuki's odd request. He had better things to worry about than Yuki's preference in clothes. Hell, if Kyo actually cared, he would say something in return about those girly shirts Yuki wore all the time. Right. Nothing like his brother at all.

That afternoon, Kyo had come home from school and changed out of his perpetually itchy school uniform. Even when he didn't wear the tie, he still felt stifled. He slipped into his t-shirt that was just a little too short and a pair of cargo pants without a second thought. He didn't even notice the clothing he had chosen until he felt Yuki's glare over the dinner table.

"Damn Rat," Kyo seethed, "Don't you know it's rude to stare? Or did your 'Guide to Being a Pretty Boy Prince' not include a section on manners?"

Yuki gritted his teeth. "I only extend politeness to people who deserve it," he said. "Not to idiots who don't listen to what others say."

Tohru paused from nibbling her dinner (something she inadvertently did when she sensed tension between her housemates over the table) to remark, "But Yuki-kun is always very polite!"

Kyo glared at her.

Tohru flushed, and continued, "And Kyo-kun is always very nice!"

Yuki, very politely, emitted a soft snort of incredulity.

"Um," Tohru faltered. "It's best to eat the food when it's warm," she said, in a last-ditch effort to relieve the tension.

"Ah, yes, Tohru-kun has made a lovely meal for us!" Shigure chimed in at last. He had been too preoccupied with thinking of new strategies to disgust Mayu-chan with his presence to give his unwanted opinion before then. "This delicious food will give Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun vast amounts of energy to fight each other!" he said cheerily.

"No!" gasped Tohru. "I mean, that is, I am very happy that Shigure-san enjoys my food, but I don't want Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun to fight," she said worriedly.

Yuki would have responded with something to soothe the girl, but he was too busy glaring at Kyo. More specifically, he was glaring at Kyo's t-shirt and the inch of skin that showed there.

Kyo, meanwhile, was scowling. He hated to be stared at so intensely. After another few moments, when it didn't seem that Yuki would look away any time soon, Kyo threw down his chopsticks and yelled, "STOP STARING!" The angry boy then proceeded to stomp his way up to the roof.

Tohru was left speechless at Kyo's outburst.

Shigure shrugged, and went back to plotting against Mayu-chan (and Mitchan, if he had time later).

Yuki calmly picked up his own pair of chopsticks and began to eat. Now that the Stupid Cat and his t-shirt were out of the way, he could finally enjoy his meal in peace.

* * *

It wasn't until Kyo had finished identifying his sixth constellation and determining how its position had differed in the slightest from the week before that he realized Yuki hadn't actually been glaring at him during dinner. Yuki had been glaring at Kyo's _t-shirt_. 

Kyo felt his body burn in anger as the previous week's confrontation came back to him. Damn that Yuki, trying to tell him what to wear, what to do. He might be the prince of school, but there was no way in hell that Kyo would do what that Damn Rat said.

Kyo fumed some more before stomping off the roof (to Shigure's annoyance and Tohru's terror) and entering the house. He stopped in the doorway of Yuki's room and kicked the door savagely.

No answer. Kyo growled angrily. The idiot was probably ignoring him on purpose. Well, Kyo was going to get his fight with Yuki, no matter what.

Kyo shifted his jaw angrily and yanked Yuki's screen door open. Yuki was reading quietly at his desk. Kyo snarled angrily, "Damn Rat! Stop telling me what to do!"

Yuki calmly placed his bookmark (an elegantly designed one, made of delicate tissue paper given to him by Tohru) and deigned to look at the irate Cat.

"I told you not to wear that shirt," Yuki said simply. He turned back to his book, acting as if Kyo didn't exist.

Kyo clenched his fists. He stepped determinedly into the room, intent on a fight.

Yuki sighed and finally closed his book before standing up to meet the bristling cat face-to-face. Cool violet eyes met furious crimson ones. "Don't wear that shirt," Yuki said, slowly and deliberately, because Kyo was sometimes a bit slow to understand things. After all, he didn't seem to notice that the only reason Yuki was looking him in the eye was because that meant Kyo's t-shirt was out of Yuki's line of vision.

"ARGH!" Kyo swung his fist wildly at Yuki, yelling angrily. Yuki side-stepped neatly, sending Kyo stumbling a few steps forward.

Kyo whipped his head around to glare at the other boy, who was looking impassively at the bedroom walls.

"Damn Rat," Kyo said, "What does it matter to you?"

Yuki turned his head at the question, and his eyes flicked involuntarily downward for a split second. Kyo caught a glimpse of an odd expression flitting across Yuki's face, but it was gone before he could identify it.

"It doesn't," Yuki said, and turned to face the wall again. "Now please get out of my room. I have to finish studying."

Kyo launched himself at Yuki, hoping to catch him off-guard. Without missing a beat, Yuki aimed a well-placed kick to Kyo's chest. Kyo was sent flying out of Yuki's room, which – fortunately for Shigure – still had its door wide open. The cat-cursed was unceremoniously dumped on his behind in the hallway, hissing and spitting.

"Excuse me," Yuki said, mock-formally, and slid his door shut.

"I HATE YOU, YOU DAMN RAT!"

* * *

The next day was bright and sunny, but Yuki's mood was the exact opposite. He had woken up late that morning, and essentially slept-walked throughout the entire day. The student council meeting (which mainly consisted of Yuki trying to wake Manabe up to no avail) lasted much longer than usual. By the time Yuki reached Shigure's front door, it was almost sunset. 

Yuki couldn't work on his garden like he planned. He had planned on weeding today. It had rained a couple of days ago, and though that was good for his plants, they were also good for weeds. (The rain was, of course, also good at keeping the Stupid Cat quiet). He hated to think of the damage they would do in another few days if they weren't taken care of soon. But daylight was best for weeding, and that was something the prince didn't have anymore.

Yuki fumed quietly as he trudged toward the house. Today was _not_ a good day. Just as he was about to cross the threshold, he paused and turned his head, noticing the figure sprawled out across the porch for the first time. Scratch that. Today was a _very bad_ day.

Kyo was lying on his back, stretched out to enjoy the last rays of sunshine. He was dozing lightly and sunning himself like the Stupid Cat he was. And, _damn it_, he was wearing that slightly too-short t-shirt again.

Yuki felt his rage increase (and his mouth go dry) as he eyed the sleeping figure (and the delicious inch of tan skin revealed by his shirt). He stalked over to the other boy and kicked him viciously.

With a startled yelp, Kyo woke up from his nap and braced himself. When he saw who his attacker was, he leapt to his feet. "You're finally back, eh?" he sneered. "Good. Now we can finish that fight we started last night. I wore this outfit again just for you," he mocked.

Yuki aimed a kick at Kyo, but was too distracted looking downward to make it connect. Kyo dodged – he actually dodged – before starting to grin like a Cheshire cat.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Kyo asked. "Does my t-shirt really bother you that much? Idiot…"

Yuki, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of the last splashes of sunlight playing across Kyo's smooth stomach only muttered, "Don't wear that shirt."

Kyo, oblivious, rolled his eyes and aimed a punch that Yuki managed to duck under. "You're a broken record, Damn Rat."

Yuki finally snapped his eyes away from the t-shirt and smacked Kyo hard across the chest. Kyo hissed in pain, and swiped at the air.

"Don't make me say it again, Stupid Cat," Yuki said in real anger. He was dangerously close to losing control. But if the Stupid Cat wanted to be the punching bag for Yuki's pent-up frustration, that was his idiotic choice. "_Don't wear that shirt again,_" he reiterated.

Kyo grabbed Yuki's shirt collar, bringing them face-to-face. "Who's going to make me?" he snarled.

A split second later, Kyo was knocked flat on his back with Yuki over him and pinning him to the ground.

"I am," Yuki said simply. Finally, after a day of frustration and an eternity of temptation, he allowed himself to touch the skin along Kyo's stomach.

Kyo jerked violently. "What the hell do you think you're – ahhh!" Kyou couldn't repress a gasp as he felt Yuki's lips brush against his stomach. His whole body shuddered in response.

Yuki kept Kyo's hands pinned with his own, and locked his thighs against Kyo's knees to keep him from kicking. This, of course, left Yuki's mouth free to push up his t-shirt a little higher to explore the taut muscles of Kyo's stomach.

Kyo, panting, raised his head in an effort to throw the other boy off. The Damn Rat was just too strong. He thrashed fiercely, but Yuki didn't budge.

"Damn Rat, stop – " Kyo was again cut off by a hiss of pleasure as Yuki delicately traced the firm golden skin on his stomach with his tongue.

Yuki ignored Kyo's outbursts, too intent on finally tasting that deliciously salty skin to pay much attention. Kyo's skin was so warm and soft, and Yuki enjoyed feeling Kyo's muscles tighten in pleasure in response to his administrations.

Kyo struggled in vain, but his movements to get away soon turned into arches for more. God, that felt good. Kyo had worn the shirt again to piss the Damn Rat off – and it seemed to work in a way he'd never thought of. Thinking, however, was the last thing on the Cat's mind. Feeling Yuki's tongue explore every inch of his exposed skin was taking priority.

Kyo again raised his head to look at the other boy. Yuki's eyes were half-shut in pleasure, alternating between kissing and tasting the skin of Kyo's stomach. Kyo grunted and rolled his hips in pleasure. He shivered as he felt the silky-soft tendrils of Yuki's hair brush against his skin.

Yuki felt the boy beneath him squirm in pleasure, and finally dared to dip his tongue into Kyo's navel. He felt Kyo's body tense, and then hum in pleasure. Was the Stupid Cat purring? Vibrations tickled Yuki's tongue teasingly, and he swirled his tongue a little harder. Yuki sighed appreciatively, hungry for more.

"Dinner time!" Tohru voice wafted out from the house. Both boys jumped at the sound of her voice.

Yuki immediately pulled away and sat up. Kyo, whimpering slightly, raised himself on his elbows to look at him, a bright red flush covering his face. Yuki looked back wordlessly, unaware of the delicate pink blush colouring his cheeks. They stared at each other for a long moment.

"I hope," Yuki finally said, taking one last glance at the splashes of light illuminating the planes of skin on Kyo's belly, "that you have learned your lesson, Stupid Cat."

Yuki got up stiffly, and headed toward the door and his dinner. "Don't wear that shirt again," he said over his shoulder, and entered the house.

Kyo raised himself up on his elbows, too dazed to think of a reply. _That_ was why that damn Yuki told him not to wear it? Blushing and growling under his breath, he tugged his shirt back down. It had ridden up during Yuki's…activities. Kyo closed his eyes briefly, remembering the way Yuki's lips and tongue had felt against his bare skin. Kyo felt his body tingle with just the memory.

Kyo got up from the ground slowly as he recalled Yuki's last words and the "lesson" he had been taught for not obeying. Damn Rat, telling him again what to do. But it was good to see that pretty boy all riled up for once. He kept his cool far too often for Kyo's liking. And it seemed that the Rat actually had a weakness that caused him to lose control. Finally, Kyo had the advantage in one area. Damned if he wasn't going to make use of it to beat that Rat for once.

Kyo felt a feral smile play across his face as he wondered just how many days of wearing the shirt it would take for Yuki to lose his temper and finally tear it off his chest.

Kyo was never good at following instructions in the first place.

* * *

_Originally written in writersfunk._


End file.
